21 Signs You’re Getting Older

I mostly celebrate my age — 65 —but I admit some aspects of aging aren’t joyful. Here’s my list of 21 signs you’re getting older. Check it out. See what you’d add!

You know you’re getting older when …
…. You go to a rock concert and your friends pass around earplugs instead of drugs.

You know you’re getting older when …
… you place reading glasses in every room of the house and somehow still cannot find a pair when you need them.

You know you’re getting older when …
… you carry a pillbox that has more compartments than days of the week.

You know you’re getting older when …
… you need a SECOND pillbox to carry your heartburn medication, those pills you take after every single meal.

You know you’re getting older when …
…  you call your children and they come into the room, expecting to give you tech help instead of a hug. (This observation inspired by a recent New Yorker cartoon.)

The New Yorker

You know you’re getting older when …
… you suggest to your significant other turning off the lights “to cuddle” – and you both fall asleep.

You know you’re getting older when …
… you’d rather die than leave the lights on when you do manage to stay awake “to cuddle.”

You know you are getting older when …
… the phrase “let’s cuddle” isn’t code for anything else!

You know you’re getting older when …
… your pharmacist greets you by your first name.

You know you’re getting older when …
… even though you remember to write things down so you won’t forget them, you forget why you wrote them down!

You know you’re older when …
… you don’t just sound like your mother but you look like her too.

You know you’re older when …
… your kids take YOU out to dinner instead of visa versa.

You know you’re really getting older when …
….  your kids pay for that dinner!

You know you’re older when …
… you don’t make New Year’s Resolutions anymore because what’s the point really? You’ve blasted past so many without honoring them, so why bother? Resolutions destine you for heartbreak, self-recrimination, and disappointment.

You know you’re getting older when …
… you walk into a room and cycle through the names of your wife, sister, two daughters, three daughters-in-law before you get to your granddaughter’s name.

You know you’re getting older when
… you have to get up once, twice – or more – to pee at night.

You know you’re getting older when …
… before you can get out of bed, you have to wiggle your feet and stretch your back. Enlightened souls call it yoga. Middle-agers call it survival – the only way we can lumber out of bed!

You know you’re getting older when …
… you wear slippers because, without them, the hardwood floor triggers another painful bout of plantar fasciitis.

You know you’re getting older when …
… you thank God you still have a full head of hair.

You know you’re getting older when …
… you curse the Heavens because you have sprouted hair everywhere BUT on the top of your head.

You know you’re getting older when …
… you repeat stories you’ve told 10 times over like “you know you’re getting older when …”

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But, what can we do? It is, as the saying goes “better than the alternative!” And besides, those stories we tell and retell 10 times over really are our “oldies, but goldies,” aren’t they? And, for me, a cuddle with Handsome Hubby is just as delicious today as it was way back in the day. So, even with all the reading glasses scattered everywhere, the aching back, and the plantar fasciitis, I won’t change a thing. Would you?