Hands red like a lobster. Butt sore like a pincushion from non-stop sitting. Shoulders ache like they’ve been punched. Eyes bleary from too much TV.
Yes, I’ve got an acute case of shelter-in-place-itosis! And pardon the obvious pun, but it — and I — ain’t cute. Somebody call the hair salon police! Stat!
Of course, I’m not alone, chaffing, but grateful to be safe in the confines of my own home. People everywhere are getting a little silly and a little confused. To help a TV station in Cleveland has instituted a new segment called “What Day Is It?” It’s pretty hilarious. Check it out.
This “day of the week” business reminds me of a time long ago when my mother was hospitalized and medicated, make that over-medicated, for a terrible back surgery. Every nurse and every doctor who walked into the room asked my mother, “Do you know what day it is?” to determine if she was lucid. I get it. She got it. But it was annoying. She just wanted to know when the howling pain raging up and down her back was going to ease up and when she could get the hell out of the hospital. Finally, annoyed when asked for the fifth time that day, what day it was, she turned to her surgeon and said, “You know, I really don’t have an idea. I haven’t written a check yet today. But hand me my checkbook and I’ll pay you any amount of money for a straight answer to the questions if you think the surgery worked and when I can go home. Then when I write the check, I’ll figure out today’s date and know the answer to the question. Deal?”
Nobody asked my sharp-as-a-tack mother the day of the week again! Unfortunately, the surgery was not a success and she was in pain for the rest of her life. But her humor and wit — and love for her grandchildren — kept her going for a long time.
And that kind of resolve, humor, and love of family is definitely what we all need now, right?
Hang in there, everybody. Stay healthy.
And so goes Day 22. For the record, it’s Tuesday, April 7, 2020.